Not that you are a freak. I feel the same. It's just ...idk psychology stuff?Hhh. People all have the same feeling sometimes.

People live with a mask in real life ,they look kind and friendly .but once they are involved in their Personal interests immediately will the marks be torn off ,and put on their ugly looks.and then ,Swear words come up .

if you feel colder that means you are still not close enough

What you said are right,but real life sucks. Don't want to go back.

一脸懵逼的来，一脸懵逼的走

Absence of loving kindness, and dealings with others like an impassive spectator, are a true picture of the fall of Man. In my view, many problems can be solved ethically, and only a few will be aware of it. So, how to find the truth and try to be a kind person is an imperative.

mybe the reason is that you are a better man.