[All-For-Love]Michael在牛津大学的演讲稿【双语版】

我们都知道，我们两国在托马斯·杰弗逊提出的所谓“几个不可妥协的权利”上决裂。当我们美国人和英国人在争执各自要求的公平时，又有什么关于孩子们不可妥协的权利之争呢，对这些权利的逐步剥夺已经导致了世界上的很多孩子失去欢快乐趣和童年的安全感。因此我建议今晚我们就为每个家庭建立一部全体儿童权利条约，这些条例是：  
不必付出就可享受的被爱的权利  
不必乞求就可享有的被保护的权利  
即使来到这个世界时一无所有，也要有被重视的权利  
即使不引人注意也会有被倾听的权利  
不须要与晚间新闻和复活节抗争，就能在睡觉前听一段故事的权利  
不须要躲避子弹，可以在学校受教育的权利  
哪怕你只有妈妈才会爱的脸蛋，也要有被人尊重的权利。  
   
朋友们，人类所有知识的创立，人类意识的萌芽必然需要我们每一个人都成为被爱的对象。哪怕你不知道自己的头发是红色还是棕色，不知道自己是白人还是黑人，不知道自己信仰哪个宗教，你也应该知道自己是被爱着的。  
   
大概十二年前，我正好在准备我的真棒巡演，一个小男孩和他的父母亲来加州看我。癌症正在威胁着他的生命，他告诉我他非常爱我和我的音乐。他的父母告诉我他生命将尽，说不上哪一天就会离开，我就对他说:“你瞧，三个月之后我就要到堪萨斯州你住的那个城市去开演唱会，我希望你来看我的演出，我还要送给你一件我在一部录影带里穿过的夹克。”他眼睛一亮，说:“你要把它送给我？” 我说:“当然，不过你必须答应我穿着它来看我的演出。”我只想尽力让他坚持住，就对他说:“我希望在我的演唱会上看见你穿着这件夹克戴着这只手套。”于是，我又送了一只镶着莱茵石的手套给他。一般我决不送手套给别人。但他就要去天堂了。不过，也许他离那儿实在太近，我到他的城市时，他已经走了，他们埋葬他时给他穿上那件夹克戴上那只手套。他只有10岁。上帝知道， 我知道，他曾经多么努力地支持过。但至少，在他离开时，他知道自己是被深爱着的，不仅被父母亲，甚至还有几乎是个陌生人的我也同样爱他。拥有了这些爱，他知道他不是孤独地来到这个世界，同样也不是孤独地离开。  
   
如果你降临或离开这个世界时都感到被爱，那么这些时间里发生的所有意外你都能对付得了。教授可能降你的级，可你自己并没有降级，老板可能排挤你，可你不会被排挤掉，一个辩论对手可能会击败你，可你却仍能胜利。他们怎么能真正战胜你击倒你呢？因为你知道你是值得被爱的，其余的只是一层包装罢了。可是，如果你没有被爱的记忆，你就无法发现世界上有什么东西能够让你充实。无论你挣了多少钱，无论你有多出名，你仍然觉得空虚。


你真正寻找的只是无条件的爱和完全的包容。而这些在你诞生时就被拒绝给予。朋友们，让我给大家描述一下这样的情景，在美国每一天将有--6个不满20岁的青年自杀，12个20岁以下的孩子死于武器---记住这只是一天，不是一年。另外还有399个年轻人因为服用麻醉品而被逮捕，1352个婴儿被十几岁的妈妈生出来，这都发生在世界上最富有最发达的国家。是的，我国所充斥的暴力，其他的工业化国家无法相提并论。这只是美国年轻人宣泄自己所受的伤害和愤怒的途径，但是，难道英国就没有同样烦恼痛苦的人么？调查表明英国每小时都会有三个十来岁的孩子自残，经常割烫自己的身体或者服用过量药剂。这是他们现在用来发泄痛苦烦恼的方法。在大不列颠，有20%的家庭一年只能聚在一起吃一次晚饭，一年才一次！80年研究发现，听教多的孩子都有较强的识读能力和动手能力，而且，远比看着学的有效果。然而，英国只有不到33%的二至八岁的孩子才能固定地在晚睡前听段故事。如果我们没有意识到75%的家长在他们的那个年龄都是听着故事过来的，那么大家可能就不会想到什么了。很显然，我们没有问过自己这些痛苦愤怒和暴力从何而来。不言而喻，孩子们特别憎恨被忽略，害怕冷漠，他们哭泣只是为了引起注意。在美国，各种儿童保护机构表示，平均每年，有千万儿童成为了因忽略冷漠是受害者，这是一种虐待！富有的家庭，幸运的家庭，完全被电子器件束缚了。父母亲回到家里，可是他们没有真正回家，他们的灵魂还在办公室。  
   
那么孩子们呢？啊，只好以他们所能得到的一些感情的碎片勉强过活。在无休止的电视，电脑游戏和录像带上又能得到多少呢！这些让我觉得扭曲灵魂震撼心灵的又冷又硬的东西正好可以让大家明白，我为什么要花费这么多时间精力来支援拯救孩子的活动让它能获得巨大的成功。我们的目的很简单——重建父母儿女之间的融洽关系，重许我们的承诺去点亮所有终究有一天会来到这个世界美丽孩子们的前行路途。（这次公开演讲之后，你们能对我敞开心扉，我觉得我会和你们聊更多。不过如果对我们每个人各自的故事都作统计的话就可能侵犯个人隐私了。）常言道，抚养孩子就像跳舞。你走一步，你的孩子跟一步。而我发觉养育孩子时，你对孩子的付出只是故事的一半，而另一半就是孩子对父母的回报。  
   
在我小时候，我记得我们有一只名叫“黑姑娘”的狼狗，她不仅不能看家，而且很胆小并且神经质，甚至对卡车的声音和印地安那的雷雨也恐惧不已，我的妹妹珍妮和我在她身上下了不少心，但是我们没能赢得她的信任，她以前的主人总是打她，我们不知道为了什么，但是无论因为什么，这尚不足以使这条狗丧失忠诚。  
   
如今许多冷漠的年轻人都是受伤害的可怜人。他们一点也不关心他们的父母。他们独来独往，捍卫他们的独立。他们不停地向前，而把父母抛在了后面。还有更糟的孩子，他们怨恨父母，甚至父母的任何可能的提议都会被激烈地驳回。  
   
今晚，我不希望我们之中任何人犯这样的错误，这就是为什么我正号召全世界的孩子--和我们今晚在场的人一起开始--宽恕我们的父母，如果我们觉得被忽略，那么宽恕他们并且教他们怎样爱。 听到我没有一个幸福童年时您可能并不吃惊，我和我父亲的紧张关系就是一例。  
   
我父亲是个严厉的人，从记事起，他努力地让我们尽量做好的演员，他不善于表达爱，他从不说他爱我，也从未夸奖我，如果我表现的很棒，他会说不错，如果我表现的还行，他就什么也不说，让我们取得事业的成功是他最热切的希望，我的父亲是个天才管理者，我和我的哥哥们在事业上不成功，他就以强迫的方式，让我成为一个演员，在他的指导下，我没有错过任何一个机遇，但我真正想要的是一个让我感觉到爱的父亲，我的父亲却不是这样，在他直视着我时从不说爱我，从未和我玩过一个游戏，没有玩过骑马，没有扔过枕头，没有玩过水球，但我记得我四岁那年，有一个小的狂欢节，他把我放在小马上，这样小的一个动作，或许他五分钟就忘记了，但因为那一刻，在我心里，他有了一个特别的位置，这就是孩子，很小的事情对他们意味着很多，对我亦如此，那一刻意味着一切，我仅仅经历过一次，但那感觉真好，对他也是对世界的感觉！  
   
但是现在我自己也当爸爸了，有一天我正在想着我自己的孩子Prince、Paris，还有我希望他们长大后怎样看我。我肯定的是，我希望他们想起我的时候，能记得我不管去哪，都要他们在我身边，想起我如何总是把他们放在一切之前。但他们的生活里总是有挑战。因为我的孩子们总是被那些八卦小报跟踪，他们也不能和我经常去公园或者影院。  
所以如果他们长大了之后怨恨我，那又怎么样呢？我的选择给他们的童年带来了多大的影响？他们也许会问，为什么我们没有和其他孩子一样的童年呢？在那一刻，我祈祷，我的孩子能够理解我。他们会对自己说：“我们的爸爸已经尽了他最大努力，他面对的是独一无二的状况。他或许不完美，但他却是个温和正派的人，想把这世上所有的爱都给我们。”


我希望他们能总是把焦点放在那些积极的方面，比如我心甘情愿为他们做出的牺牲；而不是那些他们不得不放弃的事情，或我在抚养他们的过程中犯过的或不能避免犯下的错误。因为我们都曾是他人的孩子，而且我们都清楚，尽管有非常好的计划和努力，错误仍总是会发生。因为人孰无过？  
当我想到这，想到我是多么希望我的孩子不会觉得我不够好，而且会原谅我的缺点时，我不得不想起我自己的父亲，不管我之前是多么地否定他，我必须承认他一定是爱我的。他的确爱我，我知道的。从一件小事就可以看出来，在我小时候，非常喜欢吃甜食--孩子们都这样。我父亲知道我最喜欢吃面包圈。于是每隔几个星期，当我早上从楼上下来时，我都会再厨房的柜台上发现一整袋面包圈--没有字条、没有说明。就像是圣诞老人送来的礼物。


有时我曾经想熬夜藏在一边，以看到他把它们留在那里。但就像对待圣诞老人的传说那样，我不想破坏掉这种神奇幻想，更害怕他再也不会继续。我的父亲得晚上悄悄地把它们留在那里，并不让任何人知道。他害怕提及人类的情感。他不懂也不知道怎么处理。但他就懂得面包圈对我的意义。  
当我打开记忆的洪闸时，更多的回忆涌现出来，那些关于一些微妙动作的记忆，尽管已经不太清晰，但绝对体现了他再尽力而为。于是今晚，与其专注于我父亲没有作到什么，我更愿意专注于所有他历尽艰难尽力作到的事情。我想停止对他的判断。


我回想我的父亲是在南方一个非常贫穷的家庭长大的。他来自大萧条时期，而我的父亲的奋力养育着孩子们的父亲，也没有对家庭表现出多少慈爱，我的父亲和其他兄弟姐妹在爷爷的铁拳下长大。谁设想过一个在南方长大的黑人的处境？没有尊严，没有希望，想拼力在这个视我父亲为下jian种的世界里争得立足之地。我是第一个登上MTV台的黑人艺人，我还记得那有多艰难，但那还是在80年代！后来我父亲搬到印地安那州并且有了自己的大家庭，他在炼钢厂长时间的工作，那工作很低下，而且对肺有损害，这一切都是为了家。这是否很奇怪，因为他艰于表达？这是否很神秘，因为他的心那样饱经沧桑？最重要的，这是否不可理解，因为他逼他的儿子去走演艺成功之路？为了免于再过受侮辱和贫穷的生活，我开始明白就连父亲的咆哮也是一种爱，一种不完美的爱，但是尽管如此，他逼我因为他爱我，因为他希望没人会鄙视他的子女，现在，想起曾经的苦难，我感到幸福。在愤怒中，我发现了超脱，在复仇中，我发现了和解，就连最初的愤怒也慢慢变成了宽恕。


差不多十年前，我建立了一个叫“拯救世界”的慈善机构，这名字本身正是我潜藏的感觉，就我知道的一点 ，正如Shmuley后来指出的那样，那两个字是古老预言实现的基础，我们真的能拯救世界吗？这个问题直到今天一直被战争以及人种问题困绕着。我们真的能够拯救孩子吗？那些带枪进学校满怀仇恨甚至向同学开枪的孩子，那些将被打者打死的孩子，就像Jamie Bulger的悲剧故事，我们真的可以吗？是的，否则我今晚不会站在这里。  
但是这一切都从宽恕开始，因为要拯救世界我们必须首先拯救自己。而要拯救孩子，我们首先要保护孩子的内心，人人有责，作为一个成年人，我意识到我不能作为一个完整的人存在，或者作为有能力无条件给予爱的父母，直到我童年的灵魂找到依靠。这也是今晚我让大家做的事情。无愧于十大戒律第五条。敬爱你们的父母而不是褒贬他们，这就是为什么我要宽恕我的父亲并且不再评论他，因为我只想要一个“父亲”，这也是我唯一得到的。  
   
我想卸掉一切包袱和我父亲和好，来度过我的余生，不受过去阴影的妨碍。如果世界充满仇恨，我们仍然安于种地，如果世界充满愤怒，我们仍然敢于安慰，如果世界充满绝望，我们仍然敢于憧憬，如果世界充满猜度，我们仍然敢于信任，今晚让父母失望的人们，我要你们对自己的沮丧失望，今晚感觉被父母亲欺骗的人们，我要你们不要再欺骗自己，今晚所有希望将父母踢开的人们，我要你们把手伸向他们。  
   
我在要求你，我在要求我自己，把无条件的爱给我们的父母，这样他们会从他们的孩子那里学会爱，这样会最终重建一个爱的世界。Shmuley曾提到古书上的预言--新的世界将要到来，--当父母的心换回孩子的心的时候。  
   
我的朋友们，我们就是那个世界，我们就是那些孩子。  
   
圣雄甘地曾说：“弱者从不原谅，宽恕是强者的属性。”今晚，作一个强者，并且超越强者，迎接最大的挑战--治愈感情的创伤，我们一定能克服，无论我们童年受的伤害对生活的影响有多大，假定你的父母是无辜的，宽恕每个人，就赢得每个人，成千上万孩子和他们的父母对宽恕的呼唤，或许在这一刻没有结果，但这至少是一个开始，我们所有人都乐意看到的开始。  
   
好了女士们先生们，我对我今晚的讲话评价是：自信，有趣，激动。  
   
从今往后，或许可以听到一首新歌。  
   
让这新歌是孩子们的欢笑。  
   
让这新歌是孩子们的玩闹。  
   
让这新歌是孩子们的歌唱。  
   
让这新歌可以让所有的父母听到。  
让我们一起创作一首心灵的交响曲，创造一个让我们的孩子们沐浴在爱里的奇迹。  
让我们拯救世界，让伤痛枯萎。 我们一同创作最美的音乐。   
愿上帝保佑你们，我爱你们。


【英文原版】
Heal The Kids-MJ's Oxford Speech on March 3rd,2001
Thank you, thank you dear friends, from the bottom of my heart, for such a loving and spirited welcome, and thank you, Mr. President, for you kind invitation to me which I am so honored to accept. I also want to express a special thanks to you Shmuley, who for 11 years served as Rabbi here at Oxford. You and I have been working so hard to form Heal the Kids, as well as writing our book about childlike qualities, and in all of our efforts you have been such a supportive and loving friend.
And I would also like to thank Toba Friedman, our director of operations at Heal the Kids, who is returning tonight to the alma mater where she served as a Marshall scholar, as well as Marilyn Piels, another central member of our Heal the Kids team. I am humbled to be lecturing in a place that has previously been filled by such notable figures as Mother Theresa, Albert Einstein, Ronald Reagan, Robert Kennedy and Malcolm X. I've even heard that Kermit the Frog has made an appearance here, and I've always felt a kinship with Kermit's message that it's not easy being green. I'm sure he didn't find it any easier being up here than I do. As I looked round Oxford today, I couldn't help but be aware of the majesty and grandeur of this great institution, not to mention the brilliance of the great and gifted minds that have roamed these streets for centuries. The walls of Oxford have not only housed the greatest philosophical and scientific geniuses -- they have also ushered forth some of the most cherished creators of children's literature, from JRR Tolkien to CS Lewis. Today I was allowed to hobble into the dining hall in Christ Church to see Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland immortalized in the stained glass windows. And even one of my own fellow Americans, the beloved Dr Seuss graced these halls and then went on to leave his mark on the imaginations of millions of children throughout the world.


I suppose I should start by listing my qualifications to speak before you this evening. Friends, I do not claim to have the academic expertise of other speakers who have addressed this hall, just as they could lay little claim at being adept at the moonwalk -- and you know, Einstein in particular was really terrible at that. But I do have a claim to having experienced more places and cultures than most people will ever see. Human knowledge consists not only of libraries of parchment and ink -- it is also comprised of the volumes of knowledge that are written on the human heart, chiseled on the human soul, and engraved on the human psyche. And friends, I have encountered so much in this relatively short life of mine that I still cannot believe I am only 42. I often tell Shmuley that in soul years I'm sure that I'm at least 80 - and tonight I even walk like I'm 80.
So please harken to my message, because what I have to tell you tonight can bring healing to humanity and healing to our planet. Through the grace of God, I have been fortunate to have achieved many of my artistic and professional aspirations realized early in my lifetime. But these, friends are accomplishments, and accomplishments alone are not synonymous with who I am. Indeed, the cheery five-year-old who belted out Rockin' Robin and Ben to adoring crowds was not indicative of the boy behind the smile. Tonight, I come before you less as an icon of pop (whatever that means anyway), and more as an icon of a generation, a generation that no longer knows what it means to be children. All of us are products of our childhood. But I am the product of a lack of a childhood, an absence of that precious and wondrous age when we frolic playfully without a care in the world, basking in the adoration of parents and relatives, where our biggest concern is studying for that big spelling test come Monday morning. Those of you who are familiar with the Jackson Five know that I began performing at the tender age of five and that ever since then, I haven't stopped dancing or singing. But while performing and making music undoubtedly remain as some of my greatest joys, when I was young I wanted more than anything else to be a typical little boy. I wanted to build tree houses, have water balloon fights, and play hide and seek with my friends.


But fate had it otherwise and all I could do was envy the laughter and playtime that seemed to be going on all around me. There was no respite from my professional life. But on Sundays I would go Pioneering, the term used for the missionary work that Jehovah's Witnesses do. And it was then that I was able to see the magic of other people's childhood. Since I was already a celebrity, I would have to don a disguise of fat suit, wig, beard and glasses and we would spend the day in the suburbs of Southern California, going door-to-door or making the rounds of shopping malls, distributing our Watchtower magazine. I loved to set foot in all those regular suburban houses and catch sight of the shag rugs and La-Z-Boy armchairs with kids playing Monopoly and grandmas baby-sitting and all those wonderful, ordinary and starry scenes of everyday life. Many, I know, would argue that these things seem like no big deal. But to me they were mesmerizing. I used to think that I was unique in feeling that I was without a childhood. I believed that indeed there were only a handful with whom I could share those feelings.
When I recently met with Shirley Temple Black, the great child star of the 1930s and 40s, we said nothing to each other at first. We simply cried together, for she could share a pain with me that only others like my close friends Elizabeth Taylor and McCauley Culkin knew. I do not tell you this to gain your sympathy but to impress upon you my first important point -- it is not just Hollywood child stars that have suffered from a nonexistent childhood. Today, it's a universal calamity, a global catastrophe. Childhood has become the great casualty of modern-day living. All around us we are producing scores of kids who have not had the joy, who have not been accorded the right, who have not been allowed the freedom, or knowing what it's like to be a kid. Today children are constantly encouraged to grow up faster, as if this period known as childhood is a burdensome stage, to be endured and ushered through, as swiftly as possible. And on that subject, I am certainly one of the world's greatest experts. Ours is a generation that has witnessed the abrogation of the parent-child covenant. 

Psychologists are publishing libraries of books detailing the destructive effects of denying one's children the unconditional love that is so necessary to the healthy development of their minds and character. And because of all the neglect, too many of our kids have, essentially, to raise themselves. They are growing more distant from their parents, grandparents and other family members, as all around us the indestructible bond that once glued together the generations, unravels. This violation has bred a new generation, Generation O let us call it, that has now picked up the torch from Generation X.
The O stands for a generation that has everything on the outside -- wealth, success, fancy clothing and fancy cars, but an aching emptiness on the inside. That cavity in our chests, that barrenness at our core, that void in our center is the place where the heart once beat and which love once occupied. And it's not just the kids who are suffering. It's the parents as well. For the more we cultivate little adults in kids' bodies, the more removed we ourselves become from our own childlike qualities, and there is so much about being a child that is worth retaining in adult life. Love, ladies and gentlemen, is the human family's most precious legacy, its richest bequest, its golden inheritance. And it is a treasure that is handed down from one generation to another. Previous ages may not have had the wealth we enjoy. Their houses may have lacked electricity, and they squeezed their many kids into small homes without central heating. But those homes had no darkness, nor were they cold. They were lit bright with the glow of love and they were warmed snugly by the very heat of the human heart.


Parents, undistracted by the lust for luxury and status, accorded their children primacy in their lives. As you all know, our two countries broke from each other over what Thomas Jefferson referred to as "certain inalienable rights." And while we Americans and British might dispute the justice of his claims, what has never been in dispute is that children have certain inalienable rights, and the gradual erosion of those rights has led to scores of children worldwide being denied the joys and security of childhood. I would therefore like to propose tonight that we instal in every home a Children's Universal Bill of Rights, the tenets of which are:
*The right to be loved, without having to earn it
*The right to be protected, without having to deserve it
*The right to feel valuable, even if you came into the world with nothing
*The right to be listened to without having to be interesting
*The right to be read a bedtime story without having to compete with the evening news or EastEnders
*The right to an education without having to dodge bullets at schools
*The right to be thought of as adorable (even if you have a face that only a mother could love).
Friends, the foundation of all human knowledge, the beginning of human consciousness, must be that each and every one of us is an object of love. Before you know if you have red hair or brown, before you know if you are black or white, before you know of what religion you are a part, you have to know that you are loved. About 12 years ago, when I was just about to start my Bad tour, a little boy came with his parents to visit me at home in California. He was dying of cancer and he told me how much he loved my music and me.


His parents told me that he wasn't going to live, that any day he could just go, and I said to him: "Look, I am going to be coming to your town in Kansas to open my tour in three months. "I want you to come to the show. I am going to give you this jacket that I wore in one of my videos." His eyes lit up and he said: "You are gonna give it to me?" I said "Yeah, but you have to promise that you will wear it to the show." I was trying to make him hold on. I said: "When you come to the show I want to see you in this jacket and in this glove" and I gave him one of my rhinestone gloves -- and I never usually give the rhinestone gloves away. And he was just in heaven. But maybe he was too close to heaven, because when I came to his town, he had already died, and they had buried him in the glove and jacket. He was just 10 years old. God knows, I know, that he tried his best to hold on. But at least when he died, he knew that he was loved, not only by his parents, but even by me, a near stranger, I also loved him. And with all of that love he know that he didn't come into this world alone, and he certainly didn't leave it alone.
If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in-between can he dealt with. A professor may degrade you, but you will not feel degraded, a boss may crush you, but you will not be crushed, a corporate gladiator might vanquish you, but you will still triumph. How could any of them truly prevail in pulling you down? For you know that you are an object worthy of love. The rest is just packaging.


Yes, neglect. In rich homes, privileged homes, wired to the hilt with every electronic gadget. Homes where parents come home, but they're not really home, because their heads are still at the office. And their kids? Well, their kids just make do with whatever emotional crumbs they get. And you don't get much from endless TV, computer games and videos. These hard, cold numbers which for me, wrench the soul and shake the spirit, should indicate to you why I have devoted so much of my time and resources into making our new Heal the Kids initiative a colossal success. Our goal is simple - to recreate the parent/child bond, renew its promise and light the way forward for all the beautiful children who are destined one day to walk this earth. But since this is my first public lecture, and you have so warmly welcomed me into your hearts, I feel that I want to tell you more. We each have our own story, and in that sense statistics can become personal. They say that parenting is like dancing. You take one step, your child takes another. I have discovered that getting parents to rededicate themselves to their children is only half the story. The other half is preparing the children to reaccept their parents. When I was very young I remember that we had this crazy mutt of a dog named Black Girl, a mix of wolf and retriever. Not only wasn't she much of a guard dog, she was such a scared and nervous thing that it is a wonder she did not pass out every time a truck rumbled by, or a thunderstorm swept through Indiana. My sister Janet and I gave that dog so much love, but we never really won back the sense of trust that had been stolen from her by her previous owner.


It was a tiny gesture, probably something he forgot five minutes later. But because of that moment I have this special place in my heart for him. Because that's how kids are, the little things mean so much to them and for me, that one moment meant everything. I only experienced it that one time, but it made me feel really good, about him and the world. But now I am a father myself, and one day I was thinking about my own children, Prince and Paris and how I wanted them to think of me when they grow up. To be sure, I would like them to remember how I always wanted them with me wherever I went, how I always tried to put them before everything else. But there are also challenges in their lives. Because my kids are stalked by paparazzi, they can't always go to a park or a movie with me.
So what if they grow older and resent me, and how my choices impacted their youth? Why weren't we given an average childhood like all the other kids, they might ask? And at that moment I pray that my children will give me the benefit of the doubt. That they will say to themselves: "Our daddy did the best he could, given the unique circumstances that he faced. "He may not have been perfect, but he was a warm and decent man, who tried to give us all the love in the world." I hope that they will always focus on the positive things, on the sacrifices I willingly made for them, and not criticize the things they had to give up, or the errors I've made, and will certainly continue to make, in raising them. For we have all been someone's child, and we know that despite the very best of plans and efforts, mistakes will always occur. That's just being human. And when I think about this, of how I hope that my children will not judge me unkindly, and will forgive my shortcomings, I am forced to think of my own father and despite my earlier denials, I am forced to admit that me must have loved me. He did love me, and I know that. There were little things that showed it. When I was a kid I had a real sweet tooth -- we all did. My favorite food was glazed doughnuts and my father knew that. So every few weeks I would come downstairs in the morning and there on the kitchen counter was a bag of glazed doughnuts --