原文：
The relevance of whether the environmental problems can be solved by individuals has been a topic of discussion.I will discuss both views about this issue.
Some people think that environmental problems are too big for individuals to solve.To be honest,fierce environmental problems like the hole in ozone layer above the Antarctic,or the glaciers melting in the North Pole,they all beyond an individual*s control.It really seems nothing we can do to stop it.Moreover,few people face with the problems directly.Most of people won*t be threatened by the problems far away from them,so people just keep indifferent to these problems.
On the other hand,others believe that the problems cannot be solved until individuals take some actions.Whether an individual*s action will solve the problems is unknown,but nothing will be changed if he does nothing at all.Plenty of actions can be taken out to protect the environment,such as using more public transport to conserve fossil fuels,recycling paper and cans to make new environmental-friendly products and reduce one*s carbon footprint.It is easy for everyone to take these actions.In addition,governments should bring out more rules and regulations on limiting the release of toxic pollutants.By doing these,we can lead substainable development even if the problems are still far beyond to be solved.
My view is that environmental problems are probably too big for individuals to solve in short run,but we can change these fierce situation little by little,day by day.It will be the most efficient way that governments appealing more people to concerned about the significance of protecting our mother earth.
By 我爱小寿
To :我爱小寿
鸭圈写作课代表Alexander批改：
第一段：been—became，最后一句显得不太书面，建议改为，This essay will briefly elaborate and discuss these two opposite viewpoints 第二段 第一句中心句基本没有对题目进行改写 欠妥 建议改为 Some obvious arguments made by people who hold the view that solving environmental isuues are beyond individuals‘ capabilities are not without justification. fierce—severe；they all........—which are all；Most of people.......—It is not likely to pose a threat to the vast majority of people，since these problems are far from them. won*t—will not 绝对不能出现缩写
第三段 跟上一段一样 第一句没有改写，建议改为However，others insist that individuals’ actions and awareness are of vital improtance，concerning that environmental issues have increased in severity. the-these is-remains using-relying on to-in order to ；onserve- curtail fossil fuels consumption ruduce-ruducing bring out-implement ；we can- the sustainablity of the environment can be ensured 最后一段my view-From my personal perspevtive。。。；but....—but tiny progress of the environment can be facilitated on a daily basis if individual‘s take some actions，which is likely to raise efficiency of appealing more people to pay attention to the significance of protecting the mother earth.
As a conclusion 同学 你的文章太过于口语化了 逻辑也比较松散 对论点的展开不足 建议同学在语言下多下功夫 还有就是 雅思作文 要尽量少的出现第一人称 这样会显得不够客观 而且缩写是绝对禁止的。
By 鸭圈写作课代表Alexander

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